To the Geek Cave!

Lucy Davis:

Hey! I met you once and think you’re kinda cool! let’s be friends on interwebz!

Mark Dinkleman:

You crossed paths with me at work and we’ll never talk on here or there but I’m adding you just because I can!

Dave Sanders:

You’re kinda hot and I need a new prosti-tot to spy on that takes sexy overexposed pictures in the bathroom and posts them directly from her camera phone!

Sida Bakersfield:

HIYA! My have you grown! I haven’t seen you since you were a fetus inside your mother’s cervix! See I’m your third cousin, 5 times removed, from that out of state family, that never calls or writes!

Kyle McFarley:

Hey um I added you because…well we know all of the same people and I found you on the friend finder so you know..what the hell right?

Lydia Freeman:

Hey girl what’s up? You totally hate me and I kinda stole your ex boyfriend but he left me anyway and that was 3 years ago. The point is I’m a slutty social butterfly and love to stir up drama so whatddya say? Let’s be Facebook buddies!

Todd xXmusic rocks my socksXx Walters;

hello! I turned you down when you asked me out and then went to give you another shot but I decided to steal your money and drive off into the night instead, but all that aside won’t you let me legally stalk you on Facebook anyway, c’mon just to bury the hatchet?

Chuck Williams

Hello beautiful! You don’t know me but I’d like to get to know you.

Now that means I will constantly IM you every waking moment you log on and start up random conversations about how pretty your hair is. I plan to do this until you block me because you got tired of putting IM into offline mode every time you log on :)

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(Note: The names used are fictional characters I came up with, if your name so happened to be one of them, I swear I wasn’t referring to you.)

 1. Log onto Facebook and change your relationship status to single before he does.

2. Delete your profile pic because he’s in it.

3. Put up a new profile pic of you looking especially fine.

4. Put up a new status raving about how happy you are.

5. Secretly wish your heart was as easy to fool as your friends on Facebook.